May have been Nancy COY wife of Peter Grindle. Peter died in 1864.
21 year old son Abram Gridle living with Richard Bates family as a step son in Osborne County, KS in 1880
See http://wc.rootsweb.ancestry.com/cgi-bin/igm.cgi?op=PED&db=vaszary-moelich&id=I4092
Doctor per 1880 census
Served in Civil War